Money can be a scary thing to talk about, but it’s worth it to try
The first thing I do when I’m thinking about buying someone a gift is think about what gifts have meant the most to me in my life. While this might seem selfish, the idea isn’t as simplistic as “oh, I loved that cup I got that one time, and so I should get this person a cup,” the point is to think about what are the qualities of the gift that made it stand out. What about that particular Christmas gift in High School makes me still think about it, what about that moment has stuck, and why. Then, as best as I can, I try and shop with those qualities and values in mind when I think about gift giving with others.
Humans have a hard time properly recognizing value. For instance, I have to fill out about an hours worth of paperwork to receive a $100 rebate on my glasses through my health insurance. This seems like a tremendous hassle to me, but on the flip side, if someone walked into my office and offered me $100 to fill out an hour of paperwork, and I could do it whenever I wanted, I would happily do it, thinking to myself “oh, wow, $100 to sit in a robe on a sunday morning and fill out papers, what a deal.” We think we’re rational creatures, but we aren’t, and sometimes we are very, very bad at knowing how much we need to spend to make ourselves happy.
We would all love to know ahead of time about upcoming bills. It would be the easiest thing in the world to plan or save for things if we knew every single expense that was coming down the pike. While some of us wouldn’t save for a known future, most would. It’s the unknown that gets you. And it can be, frankly, terrifying to know how little control we ultimately have. For example, an unexpected job loss because the whole company gets sold. Something like that generally has almost nothing to do with your performance (unless you’re in the C-suite, and then you have a whole other set of stresses), but it can have a big impact on your day to day finances.
